Dana Fang
LAST SUMMER AT SUMMERLAND
I
When she trimmed the holly,
when she trellised each lilac,
her knuckles were starchy blue,
her skin luminescent as if
she had been torched with apricot
light. At last, for a handful
of hours each week,
she burnt, and my heart outbid
all else for her attention. To be
her shelf and shovel, her shear
and sled for just a little while; to ache
an ache that justified the rest
of her calculations—
is how her garden grew.
II
The garden is built like the guts of a palace evergreen and glistening
the way any beautiful thing glistens ripe with being
beautiful The garden is
the inner sanctum of a dream pink like peach flesh
lush with sewer cap lilies and
a little lake to litter with wishes There is nothing
of the World in this world On the other side
of the limestone wall is a pallet door
maybe the door to someone’s single courtyard, where a basket of shelled
peanuts sits in a pile of loose skin and someone
who has departed has
finally returned with sweets and toys
Now anyone can visit
After a fee any sweaty sack can sit and
maybe sheer proximity will make my dream reappear
as the skittish animal that animated
the dark that no matter how little money I make
I will be happy
III
The most famous gardens in China are
south near the sea. I wonder
whose hands mixed the lime, held the
tree before swinging the axe, whose hands
touched the tiny parcels of stone. I think
it would have been people like my family,
we want more than we can afford, we want
to participate because we want
to know we are people who can still
see the arch of light at sunset despite
the scattered pink haze, a bit
of the sky we bite, we breathe.
IV
I found the pamphlet online, through the
library. The photos inside the pamphlet
blur the bodies of gardeners
in the gardens, except for the photos
at the end, of the garden being assembled
for the Museum and even then
no names. No wonder why resurrections
go on forever in America. I wonder
if the language of gardens is the same
language I use to ask for money, to be
a little drunk in the cemetery,
the familiar language of mercy, of
shame.
My cousin purchased an audio tour
of The Humble Administrator’s Garden
when we were there. While we strolled
between bodies, along the pavilion
and into the shade, I noticed
that she did not sweat. Not
a single dark stain on her denim dress.
She stopped to fiddl
with her device, is yours broken too?
I don’t have any sound on mine and while
my little black box, strung around
my neck, sang to me, I knew the word
plum and none of the rest, so
I said yes.
V
There are too many ways that say
this is the right way There is
always the half hour of the day
where I am overcome by the certainty of time passing
and all the leaving bundled with it I think this summer is
the last summer
we will be back which means
I must remember would give everything
to ensure that I remember
Why wait
for change when you could become the changing
…………thing
Dana Fang is a queer, nonbinary, Asian-American poet living in the Midwest. They are a graduate of the Iowa Writers Workshop. Dana Fang’s work has been published in phoebe, Black Warrior Review, Gigantic Sequins, and is forthcoming in Sonora Review.
Read more from Cleaver Magazine’s Issue #27.